Let's give a big welcome to the Bibliophile Support Group to Vordak! To all who don't know (yet), Vordak is the author of Vordak the Incomprehensible: How to Grow Up and Rule the World. You can read my review here. Can you tell us a little about it, Vordak?
Absolutely. A spectacular and handsome Supervillain (ME!) gives awe-inspiring advice to undeserving little whelps (you) on how to take over the planet.
Can you explain to us all what exactly makes you incomprehensible?
Merriam-Webster defines INCOMPREHENSIBLE as: having or subject to no limits, impossible to comprehend. I think that pretty much covers it.
What do you say to all of those kids who aspire to be the superhero, not the villain?
I’ll be seeing somewhere down the line – preferably dangling over my tank of angry, underfed piranha.
How do you convince people to read your book instead of, say, Harry Potter?
I suppose Harry Potter can be an enjoyable read, but what are you left with when you finish? The story of a lightning-scarred young wizard with poor eyesight rattling around inside your brain. What are you left with after reading my Magnificent Manual? Only EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ONE DAY RULE THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHAHA!!
What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
I helped my little brother get dressed for preschool once.
Have you ever slipped up and wanted to be heroic? Perhaps, done something nice?
Never, ever, ever, EVER, EVER! Not even ONCE! Well, maybe the time I saw that ice cream store owner giving Commander Virtue a free strawberry sundae… But that’s IT!
Do you ever worry that these tips will create a villain that could potentially threaten ever your stupendous level of evil? After all, is there not only one ruler of the world?
Well, I don’t reveal ALL of my secrets in the book. I have to keep a few evil tidbits to myself, after all. And, yes, there can be only one Ruler of the World. But the agreement I require all my readers to sign grants me the position of SECOND IN COMMAND should he or she eventually conquer the planet. Oh, and I would, of course, take over should that individual happen to meet their “unexpected” demise. Not that that would ever transpire.
Are you a book reader at all, or does your busy dastardly schedule leave no time for such pleasures?
Of course I read! I am EVIL, not IGNORANT! But, as you point out, my dastardly schedule keeps me quite busy so I limit myself to only works of absolute brilliance.
What are the reading habits of an evil mastermind? Any recommendations?
I read my book and only my book. As many as three or four times a day. My absolute brilliance inspires me.
When Vordak was only a small tot, did he (that is, you) look up to or model yourself after any certain famous supervillain? Such as from a comic book or movie?
Indeed. Although my level of evil eventually surpassed them both, I grew up admiring Darth Vader and Doctor Doom. In fact, it was Lord Vader who first peaked my interest in black as a costume color. Of course, his hold on me plummeted dramatically when he decided to turn “good” in the end. I mean, that’s just plain unacceptable.
Finally, the question all of us at Bibliophile Support Group are wondering about with bated breath - can a bibliophile rule the world?!?
I don’t know. Can a bibliophile read? Can a bibliophile follow easy-to-understand instructions? Can a bibliophile create a diabolical device capable of transforming all the water in the Northern Hemisphere into vinegar?
Well, if you are capable of doing the first two, my Glorious Guide will do the rest. Of course, the water-vinegar thingy certainly wouldn’t hurt. Just don’t forget to sign that agreement making me Second in Command.
Thank you so much for your kindness and patience in answering these insignificant questions and letting us know about your novel, dear Vordak. Please stop by again!
Kindness? Patience? DEAR?! GREAT GASSY GOBLINS!